I was reading “Defiant Young Children and Toddlers: 5 Things Not to Do” this morning and it wasn’t really new information to me, as I have children with ADHD, ODD, Sensory Integration Disorder and possible OCD, so I have taken many parenting classes to learn about behaviors, but this is good information to remind parents about, because I know many parents are always thinking “why is my child doing this…”
As the article states, it’s hard not to compare your child to other children that seem to be calm all the time. But things to keep in mind are that child have no control over their daily lives, almost all their decisions are made for them (what they are to wear, what they are to eat, what time they will do everything) think how crazy you would get if you have little to no say in your day…
Another things to think about is your child’s communication skills. Are they verbal yet, or can they use typical baby signs to relay what they need? If not then this could be a big reason why they are having meltdowns. Not being able to communicate or effectively can be very frustrating for them.
And what about your child’s temperament? Some children are just born more easy going than others. A temperament is different than a personality. A personality can and will change over the years as the children age and acquire new likes and interests, but a temperament is permanent. Think back to when your child was a infant, did they sleep well, eat well, did they need lots of soothing? If so then that may be why you are experiencing what you are now.
And then the article mentions “is it ODD?”. I believe most of us know our children best and should have that gut feeling when we know it’s beyond just toddler tantrums, think about how often, how severe and over what types of things does your child get defiant about. It may be time to get a referral and have them assessed. It may not be ODD, but maybe they have a hearing or vision problem, even things like that can frustrate a child to the point of acting out.
To see some tips of what to avoid when your child is being defiant, reference the article below: